The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina: A novella
by whytebubble
Summary: 朝比奈ミクルの冒険：イツキ篇  A rendition of the great movie master Suzumiya Haruhi's "The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00"  acclaimed to be the masterpiece of surrealism - relive the exciting tales of the world's cutest combat waitress  from the future !
1. Preface

**The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina: A novella **

朝比奈ミクルの冒険：イツキ篇

_A rendition of the great movie master Suzumiya Haruhi's "The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00" (acclaimed to be the masterpiece of surrealism)- relive the exciting tales of the world's cutest combat waitress (from the future)!_

**Preface **

Every great movie in history has been adapted into written form* - like J.R.R Tolk-n's Lord of the Rings, where many more songs have been sang in its moving picture than in words, many details included about the history and politics of Middle Earth, and many more orcs have been killed. The point here is great movies deserve adaptations and grand master Susumiya Haruhi's maiden work, The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00, renders more than just one (in fact there are currently 57 (and counting)* editions of adaptions to her work).

Despite the movie being her inaugural piece (and being aired only transiently during the cultural festival of North High), this debut work has reached international acclamation - over 51 countries and 7 continents, there is bound to be someone who has heard of her work.*

In this rendition, the author has decided to honor the works of the great movie master by using all of the original dialogues from the movie, to create yet a completely similar story!

Acknowledgement Special thanks goes out to: inspiration from N-l G-man for his funky usage of chapter titles#, the XXX team for producing the english translated transcript# and of course the Great Director Suzumiya Haruhi for producing this masterpiece# for all of us to enjoy - Mi! Mi! Miracle Mikurun-run!

*citation needed #obtained without permission

p.s. Any copyright issue(s) may be addressed to the publisher of this volume. Contact address can be found on the back cover flap. (Look hard enough and you'll see it. Probably.)

p.p.s. The disparity between the english-translated title and the original Japanese title was due to a inadequacy of english language in expressing the Japanese original of the word『篇』- therefore the editor has considered leaving the translation as Romanji, but considering the other interpretations of the pronunciation i.e. 'hen' following the title character's name, he decided against it - On the topic of the title character, the author has failed to mention in the preface that this edition will be -  
>[rest of preface omitted due to character limitations]<p>

_Next up_  
>Chapter 1: Where Cars Grunted and Pigeons Cooed, and Mikuru Asahina Failed to Make An Appearance<p> 


	2. 今日、風が騒がしいな

The wind is troubled today.

Or rather, troubling or even trouble-some, for it seems like the wind had brought some tainted things into town with it. cue: an empty bag of potato chips flies past scene, zoom out.

Yuki Nagato had a specific purpose in coming to this town. Although neither Yuki nor her purpose are in actually sense "tainted", she would be what people normally considered to be a villain (if this were a book, she'd be the what we call the antagonist).

It was a normal scene in town - cars drove past, emitting exhaust that contributed to global warming, a phenomenon which may or may not truly exist; pigeons loitered around the sidewalks, cooing as they pecked at the ground, a bunch of school kids ran excitedly across, while chasing each other, causing (or not, depending on whether you believe Einstein) two of the pigeons to cluck loudly, flying off the ground for a few feet and plonking right back down to where they were before.

Nagato Yuki stands here dramatically, although we don't really know why. Dressed in a large grey cape and a tall pointy grey hat, it was rather clear to the people walking past that she was one of those kids who 'plays dress up' (believe it or not, cosplay* has already become a widely known phenomenon at this time), and therefore carried on with their respective businesses without giving this 'girl' much of a second thought.

But mistake not - Nagato Yuki is no cosplayer.

Even among her kind, Yuki is an original. You could say she's not an ordinary girl and maybe she's a little weird. And what is her 'kind' you ask? Well, you're right. I should probably tell you. Though it would be better if you do not know any details, for your own safety. Because she's actually an evil witch, who's also an alien.

Now, you may be slightly worried that I just called her Yuki - isn't that being a little overfamiliar, you say. I am, by no means, close to her; but rest assured, I am pretty safe within the protections of the fourth wall. And just who do I think I am, you continue. Well, let's not dwell on petty existential questions as such. This story needs a narrator and just take it that I'm filling in at the moment (if only you could see my wink here - oh, actually you can ;) so, let's get on with the story).

Actually, I'm done with Yuki for this chapter, you'll just have wait for the next one for more of her.

- Approximately 154 metres away - A highschool student was walking along staring blankly at the world as he always does. Looking at him, you'd think he was your average, carefree high school student. In reality, he is.

Passing by on this highschool student's side, someone knocked into him slightly. They exchanged slight apologies before moving on. And that someone's name is Itsuki Koizumi.

_Next up_

Chapter 2: Where Keiji Yamatsuchi's model shop gets its long-awaited advertisment and the case of mysterious sightings of a bunny girl in the local shopping area

*if you have to look at the foot note to know what that means, you should probably not be reading this story at al.


End file.
